How Does Change Happen ???

True change occurs deep inside yourself, at a level that you’re usually not even aware of.

People come to me wanting to quit smoking or lose wieght They tell me things like, “I have a friend who quit in one session”, and their expectation is that they can quit in one session, too.

Although it is true that some people are able to make the changes that they want in one Hypnosis session, it is not common. There are two questions that you need to ask when this happens:

(1) How committed to change were they when they walked in?
(2) How long did the changes last?
True change occurs deep inside yourself, at a level that you’re usually not even aware of. If your friend truly did quit smoking in one session, permanently, then deep inside, that friend believed it could happen and had already committed to it.

Addictions form over a period of years, and involve deep emotions and behavior patterns. Just as it takes a few years to develop and habituate these feelings and patterns, it also will take a while to create new ones. Understanding this ahead of time can save you a lot of disappointment.

Your entire life is created by your thoughts and feelings. All the things you tell yourself over the years eventually manifest out into your world. Take a moment to think about this; what kinds of things do you tell yourself? And how does that make you feel? What things have others said to you, and how has that made you feel about yourself? Then, what kind of a world have you created as a result of these deep feelings? Here’s an example of what I mean:
Action: Parent repeatedly says, “Leave me alone; I’m busy; Go away.”

Result: Child feels rejected, unloved, and unlovable. Each time this happens, the child reinforces that belief that they are unloved and unlovable.

Action: As an adult, child becomes needy and constantly seeks affection, usually from emotionally distant partners, and experiences unsuccessful relationships. Or, the child is unable to emotionally bond successfully with others.
Result: Child, now as adult, has firmly implanted the belief that they are unloved/unloveable, and has created their world to reflect that.

Self talk is a form of hypnosis. Over and over again you tell yourself the same things, until you begin to believe it. Once you believe what you’ve been telling yourself, you set about – on a subconscious level- to bring into existence the very things you’ve been thinking/feeling.

As you can see, real and lasting change does not take place as a result of the hypnotherapist changing you, but by you changing your belief about yourself. In order for hypnosis to work for you, you need these three things:

** Deep desire
** Belief that you can do it
** Commitment to change

I have people come to me who say these things: “I not sure if this will work,” “We’ll see…”, and “I’m afraid I’ll fail.” If you feel this way, you have two choices:

1) Save your money until you can be absolutely committed to change.
2) Be willing to explore, through hypnosis, your fears and anxieties.

A belief in the possibility of failure will bring about that failure. Absolute commitment to success will bring about success. It may happen in one session, and it may not, but with repeated reinforcement, you will be able to create the world you desire.

Stay In The Moment !!!

Staying in the moment changes your focus to the immediate and alters your body's responses.

The holiday season is here again. This time of year brings with it stressors that you don't ordinarily encounter, such as really bad weather that seems to last forever, the flu season, cabin fever, and of course, the three major holidays that occur between October and December.

No matter what stresses you out, there is undoubtedly a fear or two associated with it. Are you worried about money - the fear that you won't have enough? Or the cold and flu season - maybe you worry that you or a loved one will catch something. If you drive to work every day, you may fear that bad weather will either be treacherous to drive in, or cause you to lose valuable work time. Plus, snow can cause school closures, which add an additional stress of having the children at home. If you are someone who doesn't take part in the holidays, then you may have to deal with neighbors, relatives, and friends who do, and the fear may be that you won't fit in, or that others will ignore you.

Whatever the stressors are that you will encounter in the next three months, the best defense against them is to be present. Looking back into the past, or ahead into the future - even if it's just a minute ago or a minute from now - can cause you to feel stress, because you are focusing on something that doesn't exist in the moment. But the truth is, if it doesn't exist, it is not a real threat.

The next time you're feeling stressed about an event that's already happened or one that may happen in the future, notice how your body reacts. You may have a racing heart, sweaty palms, dry mouth , and you may feel anxious. Your body is reacting to something that it isn't even experiencing in real time. Then allow that thought to just move through you, and focus only on your breathing. Just take a couple of deep, deep breaths, smile (even fake smiles count), and notice your immediate surroundings. Concentrate for just a minute on your body, or something in nature, or a pet. Be present. Stay in the moment for as long as you can. Ignore any thought that has to do with the past or the future.
Staying in the moment changes your focus to the immediate and alters your body's responses. This is the quickest way to restore calmness to your body and your mind.

What used to be is gone; what might be hasn't happened yet, and may not. All any of us really have is this very moment. Practice being present, and pretty soon you will become a part of the moment, every moment. Only then can you truly say that you are in full control.

Clearing A Path For Happiness

In the United States, the pursuit of happiness is a god-given right and Americans have a document to prove it. But I wonder why the Founding Fathers deliberately phrased it, ‘the pursuit of happiness’, as if to say --- happiness in itself cannot be granted because it was, and still remains, tied to materialism. In the “pursuit” of happiness, it is each person’s own definition: riches, health, religion, etc.

Take, as an example, the pessimist and optimist. If anything bad happens, the pessimist believes it will not last long but will surely undermine his life. He feels the deck is stacked against him, yet being more realistic than the optimist, he prepares himself for misfortune.

The optimist regards it as a temporary setback and goes about removing the obstacle. He risks more but these efforts give meaning to his life and he makes the best of it. To acquire is to be happy (so the culture teaches) therefore blessed are they for among them are corporate executives in their mansions.

There is enough on the subject of happiness to fill an e-book, but let’s measure just one facet: the Internet. How much would it take to make you a happy Interner? Has your ‘big break’ eluded you thus far? What kind of Internet success would give you a sense of control over your life – because when you think about it, “control over your life” is a huge slice of happiness.

To generate an income on the Internet, it must come through the development of integrity, character, and efforts on behalf of a cause greater than oneself. By doing the job with honesty, helpfulness, and concern for others, we may have to take some time from our busy schedule to ‘coach’ a struggling newbie. This mindset offers an easier path to your own success.

Personally, I have not set goals of Internet success so high that it would plunge me into depression when deprived of a six figure income. Given the years (like me) you have labored the Internet, you must avoid the “joy-busters” out to derail your efforts. Only then can you begin living up to your full potential. You will discover more energy and creativity, better relationships, healthier thoughts leading to new ideas and a more rewarding income.

Is there a difference between the life you have – and the life you want? Do you think excuses or results? You can change this today; be that singer who is tone-deaf but sings anyway for the sheer joy it offers.

Jim Leonard wrote, “Happiness is a skill. As with other skills, you can get better at it.” He suggests that at this point in your life you might think that things are not the way they should be. Yet things are the way they are. If you can be happy in that reality, then you will improve your life faster and reach your goals easier. Energy will not be wasted on friction or regrets.

What you have is the present moment. Use it – enjoy it.